Being a Senior

Crotchety Old Seniors

Molweni, younglings! Today we’re gonna discuss the best things about being a senior, so if you’re not there yet, you can get a little glimpse at what your future holds.

  1. You are shocked and offended when your English grade drops, but you are also too burnt out from the last four years of your life to actually do anything about it.
  2. People will ask you about your memories of high school, but you can’t even remember what your essay topic is, let alone anything older than the weekend.
  3. You’re sort of expected to know what to do. It’s a fun conundrum of people telling you you’re too young for a lot of things, but also asking you about the plan for the rest of your life.
  4. Senioritis: Sorta touched on this already. Some people have it bad. Some people are experiencing the crippling contradiction of years spent striving for perfect grades while battling the inevitable exhaustion and apathy that is ingraining itself in their bones. It’s all made worse by the people who are immune – the ones who seem to feed off senior year, like the passing days have only made them more alert. Though few and far between, those are the guys you gotta watch out for ‘cause you never know when they’re gonna ambush you with anecdotes about their dreams and ambitions.
  5. Free periods in the middle of the day: Oh yes, you may have heard the beautiful stories of seniors and their five frees, but guess what? That’s not how it works! Get ready for a year of sitting in the library for every 4th and 5th period. Not to mention the joy of getting kicked out of the library when it closes the half hour before lunch.
  6. College: “Do you know where you’re going yet?” is a question you will get very good at shutting down because adults don’t understand that decisions don’t come out until the end of March. Also, everyone needs to stop assuming our lives are put-together.
  7. You get cool things like “senior sunrise” and all that (which only five people actually  attend).
  8. Graduation: The most awesome thing you could imagine, but also secretly the most terrifying thing ever. We have to be real people in only a few months. We are not ready for that nonsense.
  9. Seniors get free VIP passes to the pool on the roof, obviously.

So clearly, young children, being a senior is the greatest thing in the world, and you have everything to look forward to. Also, when you’re a senior, you’re allowed to be crotchety (and we all know that’s the real win).