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Food For The Common Dude- Recipes That Are Heavy On Carbs


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It’s Thanksgiving month!!! Time to count your blessings (maybe mention to your teachers just how grateful you are that they assigned you that extra project? You didn’t have any weekend homework before, and now you do! Yay!), spend time with family (oh boy), and, most importantly, eat lots and lots of food.

However, there’s a dilemma: between college applications, book reports you’ve been hardcore procrastinating for weeks (“What do you mean I was supposed to

actually read the book?”), and the general pressures and social stresses that the average American teen faces, you’ve got ZERO (0) time to spend cooking. This is a tragedy, since Thanksgiving is literally a holiday celebrating food (whatever your first grade teachers taught you, it’s not celebrating a happy gathering between Native Americans and Pilgrims). But wait! Our specialized Analy Food Scientists have come to your rescue with not one but TWO (2) quick, easy, and somewhat-seasonally-appropriate recipes!

 

BAKED SWEET POTATO FRIES

Okay, so what’s the best Thanksgiving dish? Well, undeniably it’s the potatoes. Mashed, baked, hashed and browned… they’re delicious in any form. Really, potatoes are just amazing in general. But, what is, without a doubt, the best form of potatoes? Fries! So, how about a recipe for some delicious (and semi-nutritious depending on which blog forums you read) baked sweet potato fries?
You Will Need:
●3 large sweet potatoes, cleaned and dried (unless you’re into dirt and germs).
●2 tablespoons olive or coconut oil.
●½ teaspoon salt (although you can add more if you’re a sodium junky).
●A baking sheet, some parchment paper, and a large knife (please be careful).
Procedure:
1.Preheat the oven to 400˚F, and either line your baking sheet with parchment paper or grease it with a little extra oil.
2.Chop up your sweet potatoes. We understand that your knife skills may be less than adequate, but try and make the pieces all roughly the same size so that they cook evenly. (Side note: smaller pieces means that your fries are done quicker!)
3.Toss your potato pieces in the oil until they’re well-coated. Add the salt and toss again (because it was just so dang fun the first time!). Then, arrange them in a single layer on the baking sheet.
4.Put ‘em in the oven and bake for about 20 minutes. Flip them over at this point and bake for another 10-15 minutes or until they’re crispy and golden-brown.
5.Try and resist eating them directly after they’re removed from the oven. Cooling is a thing, and your tongue will appreciate it.
6.Enjoy plain or with a dipping sauce of your choice.

GARLIC BREAD
Now, what’s the second-best Thanksgiving dish? If you started to say anything other than bread, you’re wrong (answering “stuffing” is acceptable because that involves bread). And, if meme culture is anything to go by, garlic bread is pretty dang popular among you hip young’uns, so how about a recipe for that?
You Will Need:
●4 tablespoons olive oil.
●8 cloves of garlic, grated (you can use a cheese grater or microplane).
●2 tablespoons finely minced parsley.
●1 teaspoon salt.
●A pinch of red pepper flakes (good luck figuring out how much a “pinch” is).
●8 slices of the bread of your choice (I wonder what would happen if you used pre-made garlic bread… Double the garlic? Garlic inception?).
●A baking sheet, bowl, and spatula.
Procedure:
1.Preheat the oven to 450˚F.
2.Mix the oil, garlic, parsley, salt, and pepper in a bowl. Then use a spatula to spread the mixture onto one side of each piece of bread.
3.Put the bread on the baking sheet and pop it in the oven for about 3 minutes.
4.Remove (for the love of God, please use oven mitts) from the oven and serve immediately. But, once again, for the sake of your taste buds, let it cool a bit.
5.Enjoy while pretending that you’re actually in Italy and not home alone, eating garlic bread by yourself!

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Food For The Common Dude- Recipes That Are Heavy On Carbs