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A-Z Tools to Keep You Dry During this Rainy Season

The Crotchety Old Seniors

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Unless you’ve been hibernating for the past few months, you’ve probably found yourself scrambling to turn off that loud flash flood warning on your phone after it went off in the middle of your English test. Whether you like the rain or hate the rain, we can all agree that you need to stay dry or else you will melt. So here are some of the best tools that have helped us stay dry and survive all of the floods:

A. An APES textbook: Hardcover.

B. A building: Self-explanatory.

C. A cat: Also self-explanatory

D. A dog bowl: Catch the water.

E. An ex-boyfriend: They deserve it.

F. A French horn: Good for tuning.

G. A garbage can: CAN keep you dry.

H. An herbivore: Find a vegan.

I. An igloo: Ice defeats water.

J. A juice box: Now it’s a water box, technically, but oh well.

K. A kettle: To boil the water into nothingness.

L. A lamprey: They will scare the water away.

M. A market: They have roofs.

N. A Nickelback album: Only thing it’s good for.

O. An open calculus binder: To hide the stains from your tears.

P. A pickle: Absorption.

Q. A queen: The sky would never rain on a queen.

R. A rag: Good to soak up anything.

S. A squirrel: Preferably a dead one. Reduce. Reuse. Recycle.

T. A towel: Rag 2.0.

U. An umbrella: Ella, ella, ay, ay, ay, under my umbrella.

V. A vacuum: To vacuum up the rain, duh.

W. A wall: Turn it horizontal to create a ceiling.

X. An x: X marks the spot where you are dry.

Y. A your mom: She’s always there for you.

Z. A Ziplock bag: Store it for later. Gotta stay hydrated.

Don’t drown yet. That’s what swim practice is for.

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A-Z Tools to Keep You Dry During this Rainy Season